Support from the love of Jean
Feb/Thursday/2009 06:37 PM Filed in: Healthy
and Fit After Cancer
Many years ago at the age of 16, I met a woman who
would come to be a big part of my life and
ultimately, through her later diagnosis of cancer and
untimely death, bring a special group of friends into
my life. Today, we spent a few hours together
laughing, crying, and reminiscing about the woman who
brought us together and the individual
journey’s of our lives.
We came to know each other because of Jean Pendergraft. Jean was the epitomy of Joie de Vivre. She loved life and her positive, spirited approach, no doubt, kept her alive many years with metastatic, or Stage IV, breast cancer. About five years before her death, she decided that she wanted to form her own support group, that would take turns taking her to her various treatments. She chose friends of different ages and backgrounds. We did not see each other except upon the occasions that Jean would bring us together to thank us. One time she rented a limo that picked us up and took us to a restaurant in Raleigh. We giggled the whole way there and back. Our ages ranged from 40-62. Jean liked hanging out with younger women because though she was in her 60’s, she had the spirit of a 20 year old. Another time she took us all in a van down to her beach house at Wrightsville Beach, for an afternoon and evening out. We got to know each other during these fun gatherings with her as the ring leader of fun.
We took care of her until the end, coming over and fixing her hair and make-up each day, as this was of vital importance to her. When she looked better, she felt better, something she made a priority her entire life (and a habit that rubbed off on me as an impressionable young woman when I met her). I kept her stocked with a special apple cake recipe that she insisted was keeping her alive in her final months. We did whatever we could to make it easier. We came to know each other in this supporting role. Jean told us we were going to need each other.
As she had predicted, we did need each other. Two years after she passed away, TWO of us were diagnosed with breast cancer within a month of each other. Amazing. I was one of them, the health and fitness professional who wasn’t supposed to get cancer! Who would have thought, only a few years later, we would again experience her journey in a very real way. I always said, “I thought I understood what she was going through, but I had NO IDEA.” But thank God for friends.
I was so blessed and privileged to be a part of Jean’s life. She left us many gifts. The gifts of friends she shared are among the greatest.
A picture from the late 90’s of our group celebrating with Jean.
A picture of laughter today as we gathered to reminisce and have lunch.
We came to know each other because of Jean Pendergraft. Jean was the epitomy of Joie de Vivre. She loved life and her positive, spirited approach, no doubt, kept her alive many years with metastatic, or Stage IV, breast cancer. About five years before her death, she decided that she wanted to form her own support group, that would take turns taking her to her various treatments. She chose friends of different ages and backgrounds. We did not see each other except upon the occasions that Jean would bring us together to thank us. One time she rented a limo that picked us up and took us to a restaurant in Raleigh. We giggled the whole way there and back. Our ages ranged from 40-62. Jean liked hanging out with younger women because though she was in her 60’s, she had the spirit of a 20 year old. Another time she took us all in a van down to her beach house at Wrightsville Beach, for an afternoon and evening out. We got to know each other during these fun gatherings with her as the ring leader of fun.
We took care of her until the end, coming over and fixing her hair and make-up each day, as this was of vital importance to her. When she looked better, she felt better, something she made a priority her entire life (and a habit that rubbed off on me as an impressionable young woman when I met her). I kept her stocked with a special apple cake recipe that she insisted was keeping her alive in her final months. We did whatever we could to make it easier. We came to know each other in this supporting role. Jean told us we were going to need each other.
As she had predicted, we did need each other. Two years after she passed away, TWO of us were diagnosed with breast cancer within a month of each other. Amazing. I was one of them, the health and fitness professional who wasn’t supposed to get cancer! Who would have thought, only a few years later, we would again experience her journey in a very real way. I always said, “I thought I understood what she was going through, but I had NO IDEA.” But thank God for friends.
I was so blessed and privileged to be a part of Jean’s life. She left us many gifts. The gifts of friends she shared are among the greatest.
A picture from the late 90’s of our group celebrating with Jean.
A picture of laughter today as we gathered to reminisce and have lunch.