"Another year has gone by..." are the words to one of my favorite Celine Dion holiday songs as she sings about what is good and special about living another year with the one she loves. I first heard the song the first Christmas after I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and I had just finished chemotherapy. Each time I hear it, I think of another year passing that I am still here and how grateful I am... and it usually brings tears to my eyes.

Having gratitude doesn't in any way mean that my life has been perfect and without challenge. In fact, this year has been one of the most challenging in years with real highs and low lows. I imagine I am with the majority of Americans in looking forward to a new year filled with hope and possibility...it has been tough... and I've watched many others I love suffer both physically, mentally, and emotionally.

My anticipation for 2010...
A fresh start with new beginnings, firsts, and special goals: Getting a special book about breast cancer to the publisher by their March deadline, watching my youngest finish his senior film project and graduate from film school in May, watching my oldest get married in June (and at our house, no less), a special family trip to Alaska, speaking and sharing years of hard work on the study just published (supporting survivors), and other new adventures yet to be unveiled. How appropriate on this last day of 2009, an e-mail came sharing the news that our study was published (go to the Healthy and Fit After Cancer page to view )!

And more than those larger things to anticipate, are the small ones that make up a life, including sunshine, rain, friends old and new, family, cozy fireplaces, laughter, dancing, flowers, music, and being outdoors! I'm certain there will be ups and downs, but I trust I will face the challenges with hope and gratitude, in the spirit of Suzanne Lindley, my friend and mentor for living life out loud.

In studies about what makes people thrive, we've learned that positive anticipation of the future can actually improve our mood and increase our happiness. Give it a try! Think about the coming year with the big and little things you are anticipating. If none come to mind, start making a plan! Even if that plan is one day at a time or one minute at a time, find something you can anticipate and enjoy.

Much love, peace, and hope to you all in 2010.

Happy New Year!!!!

Honesty, autheticity, and genuineness...
Those are probably some of the character strengths I value most in others, and apparently, are character strengths of mine (VIA Signature Strengths assessment at www.AuthenticHappiness.com).

I had lunch with a survivor friend yesterday, who is one of the most authentic, in-the-moment people I have ever met. She names what she sees, tells her truth, is in touch with what she is feeling, and has no need to impress anyone. She feels what she feels and makes no apologies.

I LOVE to be around people who are authentic. I am drawn to people who are comfortable with who they are no matter what. Its one of those things you can feel, when someone is not putting on airs, creating a facade, or trying to be something they are not. Another non-scientific word for these traits might be, “down to earth”? I think that we tend to trust people who show us who they are authentically. They also give us permission to be who we are, by their example.

On the other hand, friends or loved ones who are constantly telling little white lies (or bigger ones), don’t engender trust, an important part of building intimate relationships. Its important to note, that even when we think we may be “pulling off the little white lie”, we probably aren’t. Others have a sense of it. So to build better relationships, building the muscles of authenticity, are a key component!

So how can we learn to build these character strengths?

From www.viastrengths.org:

“Integrity (authenticity, honesty): The strength of integrity is manifested speaking the truth and presenting oneself in a genuine way. A person of integrity is open and honest about his or her own thoughts, feelings, and responsibilities, being careful not to mislead through either action or omission. This strength allows one to feel a sense of ownership over one’s own internal states, regardless of whether those states are popular or socially comfortable, and to experience a sense of authentic wholeness.

1. Refrain from telling small, white lies to friends and family (including insincere compliments). If you do tell one, admit it and apologize right away.
2. Think of creative yet honest ways of relating to others.
3. Monitor every time you tell a lie, even if it is a small one. Try to make your list shorter every day.
4. Monitor to catch lies of omission (such as not volunteering important information when selling a used item) and think how would you feel if someone did the same to you.
5. Rate your satisfaction with authentic, honest, and genuine deeds vs. inauthentic and less then honest actions.
6. Monitor whether your next five significant actions match your words and vice-versa.
7. Write on issues about which you feel moral obligation. It helps to crystallize and integrate thinking.
8. Think and act fairly when your face the next challenge, regardless of its impact on your position or popularity.
9. Identify your area of strongest moral convictions. Set your priorities according to your convictions.
10. Seek roles with clear structure that allow you to be authentic and honest.
11. Learn and practice the ethical standards of your profession. “